Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and use your own empathy and emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate efficiently and empathise with others to over come challenges and defuse conflict.
Conversations always start out with small talk, and so often we revert back to a basic question something like “Hi, how are you?”. The social convention is that we often start a conversation asking this generic question and potentially don’t even wait for the answer.
Researchers at Harvard Business School analyzed hundreds of conversations to determine what kinds of questions led to better reactions. The findings established that people who ask deeper more interested questions were better liked by those they were having conversations with.
It also noted that individuals using this technique were rated as having a higher interpersonal construct of listening validation and care.
Authentic conversations are grounded in asking a question that you care about listening to the answer to. Where you have demonstrated an interest in the other person, what is going on in their life you build a deeper connection and become more in tune with their emotional state.
If you are keen to have an authentic conversation then make sure you are asking a question that demonstrates your interest in that dialogue and in the person you are asking. The Harvard research team found that you should also aim to avoid using three word phrases. An example is rather than just asking “Hi, how are you?” You could instead say, Hi how was your weekend, didn’t you have a dinner party on Saturday – how did it go?”
If you were just looking for conversation starters then move away from questions, and make statements. “Good Morning”, “It is great to see everyone here today”, “I hope you had a great weekend”.
Try to always avoid asking a question and proposing the answer such as “How was the weekend? Good?” the closing of the question clearly indicates you are not interested in the answer.
Positive messages demonstrate values, active listening demonstrates authenticity.
Synopsis of an article from Inc. People Who Avoid These 3 Common Words Have Very High Emotional Intelligence: It's not that it's wrong. It's that I think you can do better. by Bill Murphy Jnr Published: 10th October 2020 https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/people-who-avoid-these-3-common-words-have-very-high-emotional-intelligence.html